YAY… another “The Mona Lisa is a tranny” theory!

As some of you may remember, last January, it was reported that some folks that dabble in science and history from Italy’s National Committee for Cultural Heritage, when not tripping their balls off, were trying to get the green light to dig up the remains of Leonardo da Vinci from his tomb in the Loire valley. Why? Well, they were convinced that The Mona Lisa was actually a self-portrait of the painter. Some other da Vinci experts shot that theory down (I’m assuming because there was no duct tape back in Renaissance Italy… an obvious contradiction to the aforementioned theory).

Don’t put your falsies down yet “ladies”. Silvano Vincenti, who chairs the Italian National Committee for Cultural Heritage, is offering yet another theory to hopefully squash those boring and dated beliefs that the woman in the painting is actually Lisa Gheradini, the wife of a merchant who supposedly commissioned the work from da Vinci.

The new argument is that the figure in the painting is based on da Vinci’s assistant at the time, Gian Giacomo Caprotti aka Salai (drag name?). Court documents from 1746, where Leonardo was charged and acquitted of sodomy, laid the groundwork for the presumption of his homosexuality. His relationship with Salai was said to be both passionate and loving (translation: there was some serious paintbrush dipping going on).

To sum things up, Vincenti was comparing the mugs of both The Mona Lisa and some of da Vinci’s other works, such as St. John the Baptist (which Salai posed for) and he says the facial structures of both subjects are too similar to ignore.

The mystery has been solved. Theologians can rest their weary heads and Dan Brown should be locked away for the blatant fallacies he was peddling in The da Vinci Code by not mentioning that The Mona Lisa DIDN’T have lady parts.

I wonder how long it will be before a da Vinci themed challenge will be seen on RuPaul’s Drag Race. I can see it now… “I’m sorry *insert pseudo-clever drag name here*, but you just didn’t give enough gender ambiguousness in your emulation of the Angel Incarnate and you must now lip synch for your life!”